July 4th last year

For days, my siblings have been talking about fireworks, and tonight, I remembered our day together last year. I remember her being sick, and out of it that day. And in the afternoon probably not ever knowing I was there. I remember doing a lot of lying that night.

Last night I was doing some remembering and I think this was the first time that I watched her. This morning I was up super early and I found the notebook of our night together last year.

It was during the Stoughton fair, and I remember being over their in the early afternoon. She was sick, asleep and out of it, and I am pretty sure she never knew that I was there that day. Her daughter came for a little and suggested about fireworks at night, and maybe taking the care giver, and I said I could stay with her. so the deal was made that I would come back that night. I remember E and I leaving the apartment that afternoon being like "see you tonight!"
I thought it would be easy, since she would already be in bed, and I would look in at her and then I could just watch comedy specials on Netflix on her iPad.
When I got there around 8:30, she was in bed as planned but not fully asleep yet. I looked in on her but didn't walk far enough into her room for her to see me. The family and caregiver had left and it was just her and I.
At 8:45 I had made a few notes but soon, duty called.
At 9:35 I was able to make more notes again...."well [she] was fully wake, so duty called. I was in her room for a half hour. She was so confused. The most confused I've seen her in months. She was really just making no sense, but she was still excited to see me. She asked me what I did today. I then convinced her that she was asleep and that she woke up in the middle of the night. She then had me "fix" things in her bed. She wanted a scapular on and when I showed her that she had one on she said "I hope you choke on your scapular in your sleep and die" She then, held my hand and thank me for coming to visit her, and said, "I love you, my dear" and I held her hand and said, "I love you too". I then suggested we say bedtime prayers and she said yes. She couldn't think of what to say so I made some suggestions. when I said "now I lay me down to sleep" she snickered and I said, "what? that's what I say every night" and she said "oh that's cute". I asked if she wanted to say what I say so she said sure. we said now I lay me down to sleep, the apostles creed&  a litany of saints. we then said goodnight and I left the room."
I think, after I made my notes, I fell asleep or maybe I watched something on Netflix. Sometime, around 10:30, the caregiver came back ( I remember being asleep when she came back), and then I left.

Its weird to think that night was just last year. And, I don't know, its weird to think that it was my first time watching her.