I wrote this on the way home from Kenosha tonight. we have finished a weekend full of wedding and family extravaganza. The sun was setting brightly. I had some beats on and my spotify playlist playing. My thoughts were lost in writing reflections...
"nearly 7 months ago, I entered the world of catheters, depends, Hoyer lifts & pill strips. I have learned how to use & steer her wheel chair. She has ran over my feet countless times. I have learned how to get her in & out of a car and have learned to pull the ramp in & out. I can put a zip up jacket on her. It's a process. I know the work and the sacrifice to take care of someone with so many needs.I have entered the world of live-in caregivers and very bad caregivers. I have learned to lie my way through things (the night of 7/4/18 I did a lot of lying) I know the burden of these things. I know how much of a grand event social events can be. I think that quetiapine works amazing wonders. I know that oxycodon really knocks a person out.I think UTIs are terrible. I have learned how to give someone pills. I have seen her tear off parts of the Island counter from the sheer force of her pushing with her wheel chair. I've lost count of the times I've dove to catch a lamp she was whacking into.I can push stools and chairs into place so fast before she hits their path.I can make her a plate of food. And make it look like I didn't cut up the food. When taking her in and out of the church I can open 2 doors at once.
Nearly 7 months ago, I could have never imagined that our relationship would/could be this amazing. I didn't know we would/could get along so well. Or that she would say "I love you" to me every time I leave her. I didn't know she would fall asleep holding my hand.
I've been yelled at by her lots of times. She's been very difficult. I've been so discouraged because of how a day has gone with her. we've had some disastrous adventures. I showed my complete incompetence at the dr's office with her. we've had hard days together. I've taken her bad behavior too personally. I've been so discouraged & wonder why I do good things. "get this strange woman out of my house" she said.
Nearly 7 months ago, I met someone who has taught me many lessons. practical lessons. lessons in charity, and joy. lessons that I can't express in words. lessons of encouragement & triumph.
Nearly 7 months ago, I didn't know where Life would take us, or how she and I would become suite inseparable. we are "the dynamic duo" I said the other night.
"...it is in giving that we receive..." St Francis of Assisi says. "..I discovered that service is joy..."a picture frame in our house says.
God is so good! Life is such a great gift! She is such a great gift to me!"