Reading from....
A Character Calendar (daily) (its still so weird to read this on my own!)
With the Church volume II (sometimes)
Sunday Morning Storyland (Sundays)
Enjoying...
the Catholic All June Booklet (still weird to read this alone!)
New....
Catholic All July booklet
Catholic All September booklet
(its still weird to be getting these booklets just for me)
Holy Family image that I have admired for some time now (still can't believe its mine!!)
Using....
Tan Books Calendar
Making...
a chart for with the church volume I and with the church volume II for what days/when to read it
I've been....
making it to low mass nearly daily
doing some writing when I can
Went to...
an authentic St John the Baptist vigil bonfire + vespers (my first ever)
diocesan ordinations + first mass
a Corpus Christi procession (through the church)
Showing posts with label June 2019. Show all posts
Showing posts with label June 2019. Show all posts
Sunday, July 7, 2019
Sunday, June 30, 2019
Yippee Skippee!!
I looked online a bunch and couldn't find it exact thing. I only knew two other people who had it, and they probably got it around the same time that she got it.
Well, tonight, her kids gave it to me as a gift and I am SO EXCITED to have it!!! all I can say is WOW and YIPPEE SKIPPEE!!!!}
Saturday, June 29, 2019
this week: new bishop + better days ahead?
She died April 24 2019. I was still very sleep deprived, and my sleep schedule off....I remember being up around 5am and scrolling through Facebook before 7am mass to find that we were chosen a new bishop. I went to mass and it was announced there. then we found out he was saying a noon mass, so we all went. I think I slept through most of it...its all a blur, those days were kind of a blur....
I don't know why---maybe from all the storms that night, or maybe its mild depression, or who really knows... the night of vespers with our new Bishop was a hard night. I should really be more excited about having a new bishop but, I may forever associate him with her....
Parking was a disaster to begin with, as I was directed to park in a handicap sport (I nearly lost my mind!). Once in the church, I had some writing time. I really tried to be excited about what was happening. but, even Bishop's homily made me think of her when he said "God never seems to call the qualified, he qualifies the called". (How true it is!)
I was tear eyed the whole night and burst into tears 4 times with the Magnificat, The Salve Regina, "you called John the baptist to give testimony to you by his life and even his death" and "remember those who have died, give them a place of light, happiness and peace".
I was kind of a wreck that night.
I was a bit surprised that I made it through the entire installation mass the next day with no tears.
65 days after her death. I made it through the ordination mass with no tears, but fell asleep during it at least twice and I did not care.
Again, the night of the ordination, I realized that I should have more excitement for the happenings around me, but I'm just so scattered & distracted or something....
I was slightly disappointing that the new priests didn't offer their hands for the kissing of the hands after the first blessings that night, as she was the one who taught me to do that at Father P's first mass year.
Today, at a first mass of a priest whose mom died 10 years ago, I cried each time the new priest or his dad cried. Its like I couldn't hold back tears. and the last time I saw a priest cry, and I think the only time, was at her funeral.
Tomorrow, I had planned on taking her to a Latin mass first mass (since our last first mass was such a success-NOT!). she should be there. I planned to bring her. but she's not. and I'm going "alone". I won't get front row seating like last year and who knows what tears the day may bring.....
Monday, June 24, 2019
our relationship in songs
I only listened to a few of these songs and thought of her when she was still alive. A few weeks after she died, I thought a YouTube playlist was needed, and then I wanted to be able to listen to this playlist anytime and anywhere, so I made a Spotify playlist. I listen to it mostly at night, or when I want to do some writing/think of her.
At the HFH graduation last year, we had to sit at the bottom of the steps as we couldn't get to the top. She wasn't thrilled about it and I kept saying "well offer it up" (like that was somehow helpful...)
She fell asleep and during one of the slideshows this song played: Count on me- Bruno Mars, and it made me think of her and I. This was the first song that made me think of her and I. Starting in the fall I had a monthly Monday night babysitting gig, I'd visit her first, and drive west and sing this song thinking of her.
When she was in the hospital for being unresponsive, I went 80 on 14 to get to her fast. I couldn't take it anymore and just wanted to be with her. I listened to "its the end of the world as we know it" by REM (and "thunderstuck" by AC/DC) the WHOLE way there. Her daughter said earlier that afternoon "this may be the beginning of the end" so I thought my world was falling apart right then and there. Every time I hit University Avenue I played "Jump Around".
Once I knew she was coming home from the hospital, I thought of her as "safe and sound" so I listened to the song from the Hunger Games. Saturday night of when she was in the hospital, I went back to visit her, but, well, it wasn't a great visit, I listened to "safe and sound" on the way home, and reminded myself that she was going to be okay even though that night wasn't great.
We got more time with her....
Then, I realized we had a bit of a "love affair" going so when I listened to "falling in love with you" (Elvis, and Andrea Boccelli), I'd listened to those with "count on me".
If we didn't see each other for just a day or two, I thought of "its been a long day without you again, and I'll tell you all about it when I see you again", so in went "See You Again"
These were the songs that I would think of her when she was still alive.
At the cemetery, I thought of the words "we laid our dead in sacred ground" so I threw in "Home" by Dierks Bentley.
Our time together was "the best days of my life" so in went "Summer of 69".
She loved me so in went "everybody loves me".
"Supermarket flowers" and "this town" went in for the sadness aspects. Although I am not sure what they have to do with her or her and I.
"Then" by Brad Paisley, because as I reflect, its like each "milestone" of our relationship, I thought I loved her (I did!), but, Love increases...
My writing document of our relationship/her and I/her life is called "a long way to the top" and is more of an illusion to Pier Georgio Frasatti's "v'erse l'alto" than rock and roll... still, this song made it in.
Around the time of the HFH graduation "time of your life" by Green day circulated our house a bunch, and she gave me "the time of my life" so that made it in the list.
About a week ago I was flicking though Instagram and someone had linked this on their story and I fell in love with it almost immediately....so beautiful! "if we were vampires"-Jason Isbell and the 400 unit.
When this playlist is on, bring on the tears for me.
At the HFH graduation last year, we had to sit at the bottom of the steps as we couldn't get to the top. She wasn't thrilled about it and I kept saying "well offer it up" (like that was somehow helpful...)
She fell asleep and during one of the slideshows this song played: Count on me- Bruno Mars, and it made me think of her and I. This was the first song that made me think of her and I. Starting in the fall I had a monthly Monday night babysitting gig, I'd visit her first, and drive west and sing this song thinking of her.
When she was in the hospital for being unresponsive, I went 80 on 14 to get to her fast. I couldn't take it anymore and just wanted to be with her. I listened to "its the end of the world as we know it" by REM (and "thunderstuck" by AC/DC) the WHOLE way there. Her daughter said earlier that afternoon "this may be the beginning of the end" so I thought my world was falling apart right then and there. Every time I hit University Avenue I played "Jump Around".
Once I knew she was coming home from the hospital, I thought of her as "safe and sound" so I listened to the song from the Hunger Games. Saturday night of when she was in the hospital, I went back to visit her, but, well, it wasn't a great visit, I listened to "safe and sound" on the way home, and reminded myself that she was going to be okay even though that night wasn't great.
We got more time with her....
Then, I realized we had a bit of a "love affair" going so when I listened to "falling in love with you" (Elvis, and Andrea Boccelli), I'd listened to those with "count on me".
If we didn't see each other for just a day or two, I thought of "its been a long day without you again, and I'll tell you all about it when I see you again", so in went "See You Again"
These were the songs that I would think of her when she was still alive.
At the cemetery, I thought of the words "we laid our dead in sacred ground" so I threw in "Home" by Dierks Bentley.
Our time together was "the best days of my life" so in went "Summer of 69".
She loved me so in went "everybody loves me".
"Supermarket flowers" and "this town" went in for the sadness aspects. Although I am not sure what they have to do with her or her and I.
"Then" by Brad Paisley, because as I reflect, its like each "milestone" of our relationship, I thought I loved her (I did!), but, Love increases...
My writing document of our relationship/her and I/her life is called "a long way to the top" and is more of an illusion to Pier Georgio Frasatti's "v'erse l'alto" than rock and roll... still, this song made it in.
Around the time of the HFH graduation "time of your life" by Green day circulated our house a bunch, and she gave me "the time of my life" so that made it in the list.
About a week ago I was flicking though Instagram and someone had linked this on their story and I fell in love with it almost immediately....so beautiful! "if we were vampires"-Jason Isbell and the 400 unit.
When this playlist is on, bring on the tears for me.
I can't go out in public anymore! (a little dramatic, but...)
This is a bit of a dramatic statement, but within the last few days I have realized it to be true....
tonight, I was at vespers (my first time at a monthly thing with a local parish), and I'm mostly just listening to whats happening, and I was feeling alright until they said "May the souls of the faithful departed through the mercy of God rest in peace. Amen"...and I started crying and was basically a wreck for the rest of vespers
a few days ago was my first day on a new "job" where I'm helping take care of a woman who had a stroke, I was at the pharmacy for her, and I don't know, it was just too much to handle going to the pharmacy for someone else.... And I know what you're thinking--- "weren't you just at the pharmacy for yourself a few weeks ago??" well, yes, but I don't know...something about using somebody else's credit card, and signing forms for someone else....I kind of hope the pharmacist didn't notice all the tears in my eyes...
anytime I'm driving and I see a silver colored Chrysler Town & Country van... and definitely when I see the wheelchair adapted ones... I feel immense angst
last Monday I went to an organ recital, and "for old times sake" I parked where she and I had to park when all the handicap spots were taken and we had to trek through the parking lot, I walked up/on the wheelchair accessible (but not wide enough!) ramp, I went to the elevator, I stood in the spot where we "sat" for mass..... at an organ recital, I was remembering our trek there for the All Souls Day mass. And, again, just for old times, I literally ran to the bathroom, like I'd have to do when I took her places (I couldn't leave her for more than a few minutes on her own!) Yes, even at a lovely organ recital, there were tears. I also remembered my most recent time at that building---the first mass when we were appointed Bishop Hying....24 ish? or less? a full day? I don't even really remember... after she died, and I was, although glad for a new bishop, not loving life that day.
I feel like as each day goes on, I am filled with more and more angst....
written 6/23/19
tonight, I was at vespers (my first time at a monthly thing with a local parish), and I'm mostly just listening to whats happening, and I was feeling alright until they said "May the souls of the faithful departed through the mercy of God rest in peace. Amen"...and I started crying and was basically a wreck for the rest of vespers
a few days ago was my first day on a new "job" where I'm helping take care of a woman who had a stroke, I was at the pharmacy for her, and I don't know, it was just too much to handle going to the pharmacy for someone else.... And I know what you're thinking--- "weren't you just at the pharmacy for yourself a few weeks ago??" well, yes, but I don't know...something about using somebody else's credit card, and signing forms for someone else....I kind of hope the pharmacist didn't notice all the tears in my eyes...
anytime I'm driving and I see a silver colored Chrysler Town & Country van... and definitely when I see the wheelchair adapted ones... I feel immense angst
last Monday I went to an organ recital, and "for old times sake" I parked where she and I had to park when all the handicap spots were taken and we had to trek through the parking lot, I walked up/on the wheelchair accessible (but not wide enough!) ramp, I went to the elevator, I stood in the spot where we "sat" for mass..... at an organ recital, I was remembering our trek there for the All Souls Day mass. And, again, just for old times, I literally ran to the bathroom, like I'd have to do when I took her places (I couldn't leave her for more than a few minutes on her own!) Yes, even at a lovely organ recital, there were tears. I also remembered my most recent time at that building---the first mass when we were appointed Bishop Hying....24 ish? or less? a full day? I don't even really remember... after she died, and I was, although glad for a new bishop, not loving life that day.
I feel like as each day goes on, I am filled with more and more angst....
written 6/23/19
Sunday, June 16, 2019
Busy days
I had every intention of writing here more and tapping the "publish" button more frequently than I have in the past few months, but I am currently in the middle of 2 very busy weeks (about to start week 2 of the busy weeks)
Here is an example of the day in the life of me.... This was a particularly interesting/busy day!
Thursday June 13- Friday June 14 2019
Thursday Morning:
7am daily mass
work at cloth diaper shop 8:30-12
interview at Memory care place; met a guy who is 99, went through the battle of the bulge and Normandy, and shares the same birthday as me---we sat and talked for 45 minutes!!; visited a friend
rushed around with chores, writing about the exciting afternoon, got ready for the night and next day
went to my brother's rugby banquet
hit the road again to spend the night with a family with 10 week old twins to help with the twins throughout the night.Think I'm living the high life during my night with the twin boys. Remember my dear friend and wondering if this is what life was like for her and her twins. I also named each twin after my friend's twins. :)
I read books to the older kids, got them in bed, said my own night prayers with a twin in my arms, slept some but woke up each time one of the twins cried, changed diapers and rocked babies back to sleep throughout the night. :)
went home the next day, got home at 10:30 am. Did chores, caught up on texts, showered.
12:00-1:45 paid for my car, got gas and worked at cloth diaper shop
2:05-5 babysat three kids for my sister
dashed to stoughton for a grad party
5:56 get a text at the party that I'm looking at a new car at 6:40 (that was the time we were going to meet)
RACE home, do chores in 4 minutes, get my money, drive back to Madison
look at car
buy car (I am now a Honda owner)
go home. hit Wendy's and remember a certain mishaps for my friend and I there. ;)
at home work on "The Death of a Salesman" paper
shower
go back to Madison--feeling so tired!! drive new car home. listen to frightening CD that previous owner left in car.
jump into bed at 10:20!
Here is an example of the day in the life of me.... This was a particularly interesting/busy day!
Thursday June 13- Friday June 14 2019
Thursday Morning:
7am daily mass
work at cloth diaper shop 8:30-12
interview at Memory care place; met a guy who is 99, went through the battle of the bulge and Normandy, and shares the same birthday as me---we sat and talked for 45 minutes!!; visited a friend
rushed around with chores, writing about the exciting afternoon, got ready for the night and next day
went to my brother's rugby banquet
hit the road again to spend the night with a family with 10 week old twins to help with the twins throughout the night.Think I'm living the high life during my night with the twin boys. Remember my dear friend and wondering if this is what life was like for her and her twins. I also named each twin after my friend's twins. :)
I read books to the older kids, got them in bed, said my own night prayers with a twin in my arms, slept some but woke up each time one of the twins cried, changed diapers and rocked babies back to sleep throughout the night. :)
went home the next day, got home at 10:30 am. Did chores, caught up on texts, showered.
12:00-1:45 paid for my car, got gas and worked at cloth diaper shop
2:05-5 babysat three kids for my sister
dashed to stoughton for a grad party
5:56 get a text at the party that I'm looking at a new car at 6:40 (that was the time we were going to meet)
RACE home, do chores in 4 minutes, get my money, drive back to Madison
look at car
buy car (I am now a Honda owner)
go home. hit Wendy's and remember a certain mishaps for my friend and I there. ;)
at home work on "The Death of a Salesman" paper
shower
go back to Madison--feeling so tired!! drive new car home. listen to frightening CD that previous owner left in car.
jump into bed at 10:20!
Friday, June 7, 2019
(extremely spontaneous!) new turkeys!
We were at the vet getting some horse forms signed and they accidentally got 2 turkey chicks in their order of pullets, and, I ended up going home with 2 turkey chicks! and I am pretty excited about them!
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